Posts Tagged ‘Paul’


If today was elections day and I was some republic, votes would probably qualify me as the least qualified person to lead the nation to the Promised Land.  My portfolio wouldn’t back me up much and a background check on my past would probably be my downfall. If history was anything to go by, I wouldn’t be the most effective commander in chief! If “me” was a corporation headed by myself, I highly doubt I would even make it to the Securities Exchange for investors to own a piece of me. The B.O.Gs would probably show me the door due to endless mismanagement and abuse of office. If I was a PC I would be that virus causing it dismal performance.

I would harbor zero bad intentions though. I would love myself too much to push myself down the drain, yet too insufficient to lead myself to glory. Blame it on the “forbidden fruits”!

I have discovered that I just could be my own’s worst enemy!

Not because I’m really “bad” – nor am I really good. I am trying my best to run the race well aiming for the prize. Well, at least the spirit is willing, but then the flesh is too damn weak! – Get it?

Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.                                                                                                                                                                                     – 2 Cor 2:7, New International Version –

In an ideal world, my best treasure would be the know-how, ability, and will to keep me away from myself. And they say that you should “nurture and embrace the glorious mess that you are”!  Too bad. I am afraid that my best attempts at exactly that are leading to disastrous results. I am too insufficient to adequately nurture my “glorious” mess since my free-spirited nature aims at achieving freedom of the mind and body – mostly in not-so-“glorious” means. The natural and authentic me has nil regard to what really matters such as humanity, spirituality, eternity – matters of the spirit and the soul, you know?

Everything that is bad for me feels so good. All I’m saying is, I have a way of embracing bad habits that make me happy. I’m the type to take flu medication as I deliberately get rained on at the roof on a freezing night. Just to say I F’in did it! … You know the kind that sell their therapist crack? Yes.

Sometimes I get so carried away in feeling good that I get blinded to doing good. I know I am not alone in this. We all have ‘that thing inside us’ that cheers us up into screwing up while enjoying every minute of the thrill. I know this because I am human, and I am talking about humans. As long as you are flesh and blood, you are born with that “thing”.

That thing, right there, is The Thorn in The Flesh.


But then again, thorns are here to stay. No amount of discipline, morals, ethics, safety, righteousness, or praying will ever rid you of the pricks.  The thorn is inevitable. There are thorns in all aspects of life – whether good or bad. There is no escaping the damn thorn! Even roses have thorns!

thorn in rose

By now I am smart enough to know that I am stupid.

I may be cautious enough to guard myself over whatever else, just not the thorn. I may have the best of love and ambition for me, but the thorns are here to remind me that I am just a man. That I may wish the best for me, but wouldn’t get the best for me. That I am mortal. That I am dangerous on my own. Very dangerous.

I guess I need the Savior to manage the thorns on my behalf.

Runnin’ from the truth, full of 40 Proof
Half-naked looks, lies that I only wanted more of
Knew in my heart I was opposed to you
Knew I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to do                                                                                                              Made in your image but I was more like a menace                                                                                                             – Lecrae –